Greensboro Family Cemetery

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Ps 34:18

All I can say is the Lord was close to me today as I do not think I would ever be ready to

bury my sweet Mell's ashes. " The Lord Gives and the Lord takes away" "Blessed be the name

of the Lord" Job

I will continue to bless His name until the end…Nothing can separate me from His love…this

world may have temporarily separated me from Mell….but NOTHING can separate me from

the Love of God! and I hang on to that!

We had lots of support and love from all the family today…I am truly BLESSED…thanks to all…

and Thanks to Rebecca(5 yrs old) we now know what ellipsis is...

Give Thanks

Florence Italy

Venice Italy

Ragghianti Family Reunion

with some of my cousins

and Lucca Italy with my cousin Grazia

11/24/10

Regret, Remorse and Change...

Gen 32:3 Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. 4 He instructed them: “This is what you are to say to my lord Esau: ‘Your servant Jacob says, I have been staying with Laban and have remained there till now. 5 I have cattle and donkeys, sheep and goats, male and female servants. Now I am sending this message to my lord, that I may find favor in your eyes.’”

Jacob was asking for favor....forgiveness...I believe he had regret over taking Esau’s blessing and wanted his brothers favor again.

I believe we must be sorry enough to be humble for a change.

be sorry enough to change.

Redeem what we can and release what you can’t change.

I have had to do some hard things..the hardest was to release Mell to be with the Lord...it has taken me weeks to write this.

I can’t change that he is in his eternal home...but I want everyone to be there with me and him!

Recently God has been dealing with me to change....to allow the Holy Spirit to be my comforter. I have been wrestling with Him that I need to comfort myself with my glass of wine. It is something we Italians love to do! Good Food and Good Wine!

He has said “ I will give you new wine”

Genesis 27:37
Isaac answered Esau, “I have made him lord over you and have made all his relatives his servants, and I have sustained him with grain and new wine. So what can I possibly do for you, my son?

Pastor Kevin was asking “ What do you regret?” He went through a list of things....when he got to “it may be grieving the Holy Spirit”

(Earlier I had been reading a book called “The forgotten God” and in there it was talking about grieving the Holy Spirit. I began to think about “Grief” and the pain of it...it hurt me just thinking that I was hurting the Holy Spirit like the pain that I feel.)

Something inside of me just broke and I knew what the Lord was saying to me. I had grieved Him by not letting Him comfort me in my grief....This is BIG....because it has been three weeks now and I actually have PEACE in my pain....there is a calming in my spirit I cannot explain....My friends in the “Grief Share” group have even noticed it.

I believe that humility is one of the hardest things we learn in life here on earth.

We must humble ourselves before God...be sorry enough to Change.

What is it you regret? What is it you are wrestling with God about?

Repentance is “Sorry enough to change” Let God Bless you!

Give in to His Spirit...Jacob wrestled with God...Father God let him win...He blessed him...That is the kind of God we serve...a loving father...who wants to bless us...in my case He wants to be a comforter to me in my grief...Will I let Him?

What ever it is you are wrestling with...Will you let God bless you?

He leaves the choice up to you...

Give Him Thanks this Thanksgiving Day...for He is GOOD!

Jacob Wrestles With God

22 That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

27 The man asked him, “What is your name?”

“Jacob,” he answered.

28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,[f] because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

29 Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”

But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.

30 So Jacob called the place Peniel,[g] saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

Dirt Road

Here I am in Barrow County driving

a Transit bus(Flat nose) as they call it, down a dirt road.

I told Tammy this was the first time

I had driven a bus down a dirt road!

She couldn't believe it!

First Helicopter Flight

Mell's friend Ron took me up for my first Helicopter flight…it was Avi's first Flight! She loved it! A beautiful day around Stone Mountain and the fall colors were still bright!

Mell and I usually would do a fall color flight... so it was amazing and I felt like He was right there with me! I could never thank Ron enough…I really miss being up there with Mell …

I think flying makes me feel close to him somehow.

The Memory Tree

This year I have decided to have an empty

Christmas tree…as my heart is empty without Mell.

I would like for all family and friends who want to

participate to bring a Christmas ornament in

memory of my sweet Mell. Something that may remind

you of him and what he meant to you.

The tree will remain empty and we will decorate

it Christmas eve at the family gathering.

I can't imagine Christmas without him…but its

gonna happen…and I just want all of us to remember him and what he meant to all of us.

You can write stories about him that I may not know about, if you like…and send them to me...I love this…it means soooo much to me…whatever you feel in your heart to do that will make it easier this Christmas without him for me and all of the family.

My love to all who loved Mell!

My address is 2379 Pine Stream Ct.

Lawerenceville, GA 30043

Change…Change and more Change

11/5/10

For four weeks now I have been training for the new job in Barrow county as a school bus driver.

I have come from fearful to hopeful...

To the fearful change means: things could get worse...

To the hopeful change means: things could get better.

To the confident change means: its a

challenge to make things better

I am now hopeful that this change in my life will make things

better for me.

I honestly do not see it as of yet...but am hopeful this is true. Eventually I would like to see myself the confident again!

It has been a real challenge for me...and extremely hard...but again I am doing it...”the hard thing” and I will not allow fear to keep me from doing what I need to do.

My destination was to be married to Mell the rest of my life...

I have to release Mell to be with the Lord...

I am having to change my destination. I may not be going to Alaska but I am going somewhere. The best is yet to come….so they say...

But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14:26-27).

Solo Shrimping

The first two days at the Island were very challenging without my sweet Mell…the boat wouldn't start…The light in the tool room was out…and it wasn't the bulbs…I asked a couple of neighbors about the boat and both said something about the fuel filter…I checked it and it was rusty and leaking…but wouldn't come off. So the neighbor came down and he couldn't get it off either! We had to change all the fittings that held it on….but got it running! He also checked my light and said he thought it was the ballast…well it was and I switched it out and put up the old light we had in there originally! Now it works too!

The battle rages in my head…"He should be here but he is gone!"…It is a constant battle to do anything! It took me hours of battling in my head to switch out the light in the tool room. I had done this numerous times before I met Mell…but he would have done it…."Why is he gone?"

It was high tide and I needed to get the boat off the lift ….but the battles raged…Finally I just said…"Do it" and I did it…

Then on Wed. I wanted to go shrimping…but again the battled raged in my head…I thought the tide was right…but wasn't quite sure. One of our neighbors was coming up in a small boat and had lots of stuff…so I decided to see if he needed help…I asked him about the tide and shrimping and he said he was going…I then asked him if I could go with him…we went in our boat as his was a small fishing boat….he made me drive the boat and showed me again what Mell has been teaching me over the years about going out in the Sapalo sound. We caught a few shrimp but I felt God was with me encouraging me to do this on my own.

Thursday the neighbors told me what time to go out and that they would already be out there.

So not to worry. Again the battle raged …I got in the boat with Avi and went up the river…I cried out in anger to God that Mell was not with me! I wanted to turn back half way to the Sound…I through the cast net a couple of times in the River but didn't get anything but trash!

So I started back towards the Sound…I battled all the way there…but I did it…I got there! I found the neighbors and some of the local guys that Mell knew…they all laughed at me and Avi in her life jacket and I laughed too…and said "But at least I am here" I through the net from 12pm to 3:30 or so and Avi did great! She just loved playing with the shrimp but wouldn't eat them….Then right before I quit a butterfly flew into the boat and landed in it…I picked it up and it just sat on my hand. Still the battled rages as I had to turn and go back at low tide and this was one of the lowest tides of the year! The neighbors were still out but said they would make sure I got back.

I couldn't get through the way we usually go...the water was too low for me…so I turned back towards the deep water in the intercoastal waterway…a man was shrimping right there and I knew you could go around to the other marker…so I asked him about the sand bars that way…he said he was leaving and I could follow him but the trick was to move fast so the boat planes out…I just followed him at the speed he was going and I made it back to the river!

God has provisions all over the place if we will look and see!

1 Pet 5:6-9 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. be self controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

I am constantly casting my anxiety on Him…and the devil is constantly roaring at me…I feel I stood firm in the faith that my God is with me and I can do all things through God who gives me strength! I came home with a lot of Shrimp…but again as I had to clean them alone…The Battle raged! I am determined to rejoice in the Lord and give thanks in all circumstances! Nothing can separate me from the Love of God…and My God will give me rest from this grief as I go to Him...

Ps 118:24 This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it.

1 thes 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 11:28-30

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

"I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39).