Those Who Grieve

5/29/10

For whatever reason God chose to make us the way He did...limited and suffering and subject to sorrows and death...He had the honesty and courage to take His own medicine.Whatever game He is playing with His creation, He has kept His own rules and played fair...He Himself has gone through the whole human experience, from the trivial irritations of family life and the cramping restrictions of hard work and lack of money to the worst horrors of pain and humiliation, defeat, despair, and death!

Dorothy Sayers

When you read this it makes you understand just a little more about who my God is. He is not one who does not understand what I am going through. He knows full well all the pain of loss.

He is walking right beside me all the way. He will never leave me.

I am not alone.

My God not only understands my sorrow, He has the power to do something about it.

Isaiah 61:1 “He came to heal the brokenhearted”

Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted”

He knows how to bring comfort to me. I will ask daily for Him

to show me the comfort He promises those who grieve.

Some days I just don’t see it...but I know He is with me.

Isaiah 50:4 ...The sovereign Lord has given me his words of wisdom, so that I know how to comfort the weary.

Jeremiah 31:25

For I have given rest to the weary and joy to the sorrowing.

Isaiah 49:13

For the Lord has comforted his people and will have compassion on them in their suffering...

Today...I would ask “Are you suffering?” “Have you lost someone really close to you, as I have?” “Or it may be something just big to you alone...maybe your health?” Whatever it is “He cares for you”

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,

because the LORD has anointed me

to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,

2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:1-3

I Take heart that He will provide me with a “crown of beauty”

and “oil of gladness”and “a garment of praise” and...that I will display His Splendor or Glory....ALL FOR US WHO GRIEVE!

3 Strengthen the feeble hands,
steady the knees that give way;

4 say to those with fearful hearts,
"Be strong, do not fear...

Isaiah 35:3-4

Be strong in the Lord...He is our only help in time of need!

M&M Fight

5/27/10

Ps. 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom(what) shall I fear? (TLB)With him on my side I’m fearless, afraid of no one and nothing

:3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear.

(TLB)When all hell breaks loose, I’m collected and cool.

Hell has broken loose in my life and my heart wants to fear...it wants to fear the future...and the present...this is the war that I

fight moment by moment...my new M&M...its a moment by moment fight! A constant battle!

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

It’s the battle of the mind I fight...to know that the Lord will never leave me...that He will be a husband to the widow...that I do not have to fear ....that He is my protector and provider!

As I fight this battle...I have the confidence that He will show me what His will is for this new journey that I am on... His Good, pleasing and perfect will.

The Battle

5/25/10

I see myself in a battle...A soldier at war...Fighting my way through this thing we call grief...The enemy of my soul constantly wanting me dead...to stop me from carrying on the work that Mell and I had started.

I am fighting until the end...I fight all day long...my battle each day is to make it to the end of the day doing His will and following Him. Then... when it comes time to rest...I rest and grieve my sweet Mell who I have the confidence that I will see again soon !

Prepare for the battle ahead…His return is coming soon!

Ephesians 6:12
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

New Desire !

Mell's friend

Dale was

working on the

Island

this is his dog

and my new

friend !

From Bills Tower …ours is the 2nd dock

The Cross at the Point of the Island

5/12

Wednesday I went swimming and as I was swimming I told the Lord “Lord...I just want Mell to beproud of me” “You know that I am doing what I know he would want me to do” “ Lately when I feel God speak to me, its strong! I felt him say” that’s what I want to know, that you want me to beproud of you too!” All I could think of was that scripture “Well done thy good an faithful servant” I want to hear him say that to me!

This was so real to me...I really know that Mell is with the Lord..

He is right there with him and I wanted him to be proud of me! Now I really understand how God feels about me! He wants me.. to want him ..to be proud of me too!

This is my goal now...to make my Lord proud of me! To hear him say when its my turn to go home. “Well done thy good and faithful servant!” I hope you too will desire this in your life...it is my prayer for you...to Make your God proud of you! He has given you a free gift ..the gift of salvation...don’t keep it to yourself..share it with all you come across!

Island Solo Boat Ride

5/14/10

Three months have passed since my sweetheart has gone home.

I miss him more each day...everyday I have to say goodbye all over again..but my mind is clearing up and I can think more and remember more...the hurt is still so bad but I am determined with the strength of the Lord to continue on the path that we were headed.

I feel like a bulldozer sometimes just clearing a path that I can

walk through...or a man with a machete cutting a path through

the jungle..its hard work...but in the end it makes walking through easier!

Today was a big day for me. I came to the Island for my second time without Mell... I put the boat in the water and I drove it to the what we on the Island call “”The Hill” why we call it the hill was my question the last time we were here together, because there is no hill that I can see. But they all say it is more of a hill than the Island! My neighbor Donelle road with me as a support but I did it alone. It was crazy but I did it...I was emotionally exhausted on the return..but I did it!

This was something I had to do alone and I did it. Tomorrow I have to put the boat back on the hoist...that is the only thing Mell never made me do...I helped him over and over and watched him do it but I never did it ...so it will be a real challenge for me.

This second time here was different than the last time...it was still hard but just different. Just being here makes me feel good. It was our special place and a lot of our closeness and growth in the Lord and with each other happened here at the Island. We spent a lot of time here together alone.

5/16/10

My neighbor Bill came over and showed me 3 or so different ways to put the boat back on the hoist…we did it over and over…Bill was determined to help me and I was determined to do it alone! Finally I think I did it! Thanks Bill!

My Little Avi

Avi is now about 5 week old and it won't be long until I bring her home!

Mark Cahill

A few weeks ago I went to hear Mark Cahill speak in Lilburn GA. Mark is the one who wrote "One Heart Beat Away"

Mell and Robert and I had met him once before.

Now he knows who I am!