The first two days at the Island were very challenging without my sweet Mell…the boat wouldn't start…The light in the tool room was out…and it wasn't the bulbs…I asked a couple of neighbors about the boat and both said something about the fuel filter…I checked it and it was rusty and leaking…but wouldn't come off. So the neighbor came down and he couldn't get it off either! We had to change all the fittings that held it on….but got it running! He also checked my light and said he thought it was the ballast…well it was and I switched it out and put up the old light we had in there originally! Now it works too!
The battle rages in my head…"He should be here but he is gone!"…It is a constant battle to do anything! It took me hours of battling in my head to switch out the light in the tool room. I had done this numerous times before I met Mell…but he would have done it…."Why is he gone?"
It was high tide and I needed to get the boat off the lift ….but the battles raged…Finally I just said…"Do it" and I did it…
Then on Wed. I wanted to go shrimping…but again the battled raged in my head…I thought the tide was right…but wasn't quite sure. One of our neighbors was coming up in a small boat and had lots of stuff…so I decided to see if he needed help…I asked him about the tide and shrimping and he said he was going…I then asked him if I could go with him…we went in our boat as his was a small fishing boat….he made me drive the boat and showed me again what Mell has been teaching me over the years about going out in the Sapalo sound. We caught a few shrimp but I felt God was with me encouraging me to do this on my own.
Thursday the neighbors told me what time to go out and that they would already be out there.
So not to worry. Again the battle raged …I got in the boat with Avi and went up the river…I cried out in anger to God that Mell was not with me! I wanted to turn back half way to the Sound…I through the cast net a couple of times in the River but didn't get anything but trash!
So I started back towards the Sound…I battled all the way there…but I did it…I got there! I found the neighbors and some of the local guys that Mell knew…they all laughed at me and Avi in her life jacket and I laughed too…and said "But at least I am here" I through the net from 12pm to 3:30 or so and Avi did great! She just loved playing with the shrimp but wouldn't eat them….Then right before I quit a butterfly flew into the boat and landed in it…I picked it up and it just sat on my hand. Still the battled rages as I had to turn and go back at low tide and this was one of the lowest tides of the year! The neighbors were still out but said they would make sure I got back.
I couldn't get through the way we usually go...the water was too low for me…so I turned back towards the deep water in the intercoastal waterway…a man was shrimping right there and I knew you could go around to the other marker…so I asked him about the sand bars that way…he said he was leaving and I could follow him but the trick was to move fast so the boat planes out…I just followed him at the speed he was going and I made it back to the river!
God has provisions all over the place if we will look and see!
1 Pet 5:6-9 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. be self controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
I am constantly casting my anxiety on Him…and the devil is constantly roaring at me…I feel I stood firm in the faith that my God is with me and I can do all things through God who gives me strength! I came home with a lot of Shrimp…but again as I had to clean them alone…The Battle raged! I am determined to rejoice in the Lord and give thanks in all circumstances! Nothing can separate me from the Love of God…and My God will give me rest from this grief as I go to Him...
Ps 118:24 This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it.
1 thes 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus.
Matthew 11:28-30
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
"I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39).
