Thursday, December 29, 2011

Remembering Mell

This is a video I did for all those who loved Mell…and want to hear his voice…check it out..

Masterpiece of Memory

The Hall Christmas was filled with…fun…food…and of course family !
Each of us to
gether created a masterpiece of memory of our loved one "Mell" Even though you can't read it you can get the idea…some of the memories like:

How to spend time with people and learn about them, Men with wild hearts are unforgettable, The true meaning of unconditional love, He had a zest for life and lived with
abandon, His example, Conformity is optional, His courage, His patience, uniqueness and
Love for people, His love for Jesus and letting his light shine and it is continuing to shine even now !

Monday, December 12, 2011

Solo Queen Air Flight

Here we all are in Mell and JC White's Queen Air…now belonging to Matt and JC…painted the original army green…what a beautiful site...Mell really loved this plane !

I have many wonderful memories in it !

Today I did something I said I would never do…NEVER SAY NEVER…I said I would never fly
in the Queen Air again because Mell was killed in one just like it ! But here I am 22 months later...
Matt, Jc…my trusty pilots and Gevie and Avi…it was a wonderful flight…it felt good to be in the air again ! Thanks Matt and JC!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Give Thanks

Refreshing of the Water Fall...

Event with my church...

As we approach this thanksgiving…we sit…and stare in memory of our loved ones…
Prayer is what will get us through.

Soon it will be two years since Mell has gone home…its hard to believe but I am making it and God is doing some neat stuff in my life. I feel I am moving forward…not moving on…as that implies that I'm moving past or away from the one whom I loved. No ...I am moving forward toward the goal that the Lord Jesus Christ has for me. We never forget them and I want to keep all the memorys alive…it was the best part of my life…loving and being loved back by Mell.

… I really am feeling a great peace from God I cannot explain. He is amazing…


Monday, September 5, 2011

Mell's Memory Door

The new front door built to specifications of what Mell and I thought would look good
on our house here in Lawrenceville…The bolts used were some of what Mell had overbought for the re-building of our bridge over the creek...Hand crafted with much thought... by Tom Heagy...Built with a heart of servant hood of the Lord Jesus Christ in whom we serve wholeheartedly... he is the pilot of my first Flight to the Island without Mell…Solo Flight to the Island …next Post...

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Solo Island Flight

It started with the New Door…I wanted to bless Tom and Kim for all the hard work put into the door…I had already planned the trip to the Island…and told them about it…I guess it sparked an interest in Tom as a pilot to fly in on an Island on a grass strip and fulfill his teenage dream of being alone on an Island with 3 women!

I can't explain the emotion I was feeling while thinking of flying to the Island without Mell…but again…something I had really wanted to do again…one of those hard things...missing the beauty & the memories of seeing the Island from far off and trying to find the Barbour River…I could hear Mell…"Find the River…Follow it down...see…there's the Island!"See that's Sapalo Sound" Then the beauty of all the other Rivers and creeks...smelling the spell of the mud and salt air…it's just an amazing sight…nothing you could ever imagine…

There was fire on Sapalo Island …we could see the smoke…the fire had caught Barbour Island on fire too…which was under control but still smoldering…

It was good to see the plane sitting in our back yard! What peaceful memories it brought back!

I can remember Mell saying to me "It sure is good to have someone to help me here" I can say
that its a lot of work at the Island by yourself…and it was wonderful to have all the help from my friends…Tom, Kim and Debbie! Debbie and Kim got to throw their first cast net…not bad for a lst throw!

We were at the Marina and I was talking with John from the Island and we looked up and Tom was hanging from the hoist…John said " I can honestly say I have never seen anyone do that before !" So we could say about Tom…He flew to an Island with 3 women…he caught rays…sharks and other fish…fought fires and hung himself from a hoist! What a man!

I got to really fish out on the boat and Tom taught me a lot about fishing and boating…
I hooked the big one and the chase was on….that ray…we think…took that boat all over the
river and then dug in at the oyster bar and decided to relax and have a drink…he broke the line and I never saw the"Big One" that got away…

Isn't that like Life…sometimes life brings battles we didn't ask for…the fight can be hard but we must endure…I can say…that ray gave me a hard fight but I did endure to the end…and I did not receive my reward…I didn't even see it…again…like life…its faith in Jesus Christ…faith…something we cannot see…but like the ray…I knew I had something big on my line…Tom, Kim or Debbie could have said" there's nothing on your line" but I wouldn't have believed them …I knew something big was there…I just believed without seeing…by faith…I knew something was down there…Believing in Christ is like that…They could have said " oh its just a ray..cut the line" People will try to steal your fish…your belief in a savior…when things go bad…just keep believing …don't give up...I wanted to fight the good fight and finish the race that I had started…catch the fish...God began a good work in me and it was not finished when Mell died…Mell finished his good work…and will receive his reward…but mine is yet to come! I must press on, fight and endure to the coming of my Lord …. where there will be no more pain…

Hebrews 12

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

I refuse to lose heart and give up in this life…what about you?

40th Class Reunion

As I prepared for this reunion…I knew it would be a quick weekend as I had to be back to work on Monday. I kept thinking I needed to be there because these things only happen every 10 years. So I pushed through the hardness of the trip…set my mind to it and took off …Robert came with me so he could see his dad…

When I rolled into Memphis Tn … I instantly realized I couldn't go visit my mother! My mother died 6 weeks after Mell….Then the last time I dropped Robert at his dad's was with Mell! I began to panic…my emotions were so torn!

I got to my cousin Peggy's and her sister Linda was with her…I just fell into Linda's arms and let loose all the pent up emotion of the day…it was a good release and I am thankful she was there at that exact moment! Their mom and dad came to visit me too…my dad's last living Sister! I am grateful to have such a great family!
God always provides !

My friend Carol called and said she would pick me up in 45 minutes for the reunion…I was staying with another cousin Marian and her husband Armando and I had to get over there and get ready…then I thought " what am I doing here?"I wanted to go back home and withdraw and be alone... But again I pushed through the hardness of all that was going on inside of me.

The 2 ladies with me in the picture are the only girls I went all the way from Elementary to High school with…Debbie has been battling ovarian cancer and my friend Miriam is now a widow too…so we all had something in common.

Carol and Ann picked me up in a convertable…what a way to go to your 40th class reunion!

On Sunday I got to visit with my Brother Frank and Aunt and Uncle…my mother's sister Rosalie... who was at mom's side everyday to see her through her illness…

All and all I can say "It is well with my soul"

Matthew 19:26
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Philippians 4:13
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

I truly believe without my God I could not have made it to this reunion and
had the opportunity to revisit the people that were important parts of my life growing up.

Thanks to my Lord and Savior "Jesus" I am forever His!
... to all the girls of the graduating class of I.C 1971... and my wonderful family in Memphis Tn !

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Home Is No More Goodbyes!

..On the drive into Palmer from Anchorage the first day of my trip... I saw a double rainbow and the last day as I met with my friend Wendy from Sheep Mountain...I saw another rainbow...we both just soaked in its beauty!

I am forever grateful...His promises stand true.


Leaving Palmer...I said goodbye to Jay and Sandy on I say goodbye to Helen and Paul...I can’t

believe the emotion of leaving this beautiful place, and my Alaska family...I really feel I am leaving home to go to my other home...see Graham and Emily in SanFransisco ..and eventually I will get to go to my heavenly home which will be the last place I call home.! It’s emotionally conflicting. I guess the saying stands...”Home is where you hang your Hat”

Mell and I hung our hats in a lot of places...The last place I get to go and Hang my hat is with The Lord Jesus Christ...who is preparing a place for me specifically!

As I left Palmer I went out on the lake behind Helen and Paul’s house and just meditated on God’s love and peace...I said goodbye again to Mell...just seems I am always saying goodbye...

Hello....Goodbye...Hello ...Goodbye...But this is temporary I know!

I am trying to keep my eyes on the eternal...looking at my homes here as temporary! Its hard! But it is true! Home is no more goodbyes!

Revelation 21:

1 Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,”[a] for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

5 He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

The Unknown Awaits!


The Last day...this was a hard one...I am feeling like I am forgetting him again...leaving him behind...again I put my faith in my God...I am not alone and I am not forgetting Mell !

As I decided to hike Hatchers Pass...I did not know what awaited me...but I just kept hiking...This hike was like my new journey through grief...I just kept walking not knowing what was ahead...I was thinking of the Lord where he said “I go to prepare a place for you” He knows what I love and what satisfies me...when my son comes home...I get excited...I know what he likes and I prepare for him to much greater is the Father preparing for me .

As I walked down this path the beauty overwhelmed me. This great valley walking next to the Little Susitna River...the beauty of the River and the sound of the rushing water...I found a rock and

just soaked it in...really...God met me and filled me full of his love, right there on that rock!

On this journey of grief ...I never know what I am going to encounter...especially here in Alaska the place where we were to retire in the summer months...

I am never surprised at what God can do...sometimes it seems He just makes it even harder for right now on the plane..he places me next to a couple who just got married last night...I told Him it wasn’t funny! But these are the things that I do not expect but they happen anyway...just like the little porcupine who unexpectedly showed up on the trail on my way out! Those prickly little spikes can be painful...but I just scared him off and I didn’t get hurt!

1 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us the spirit of fear ...but of power of love and a sound mind.

Close But So Far Away

Lake George(way back there)


The only other place I wanted to get to and I couldn’t was the Knik Glacier and Lake George.

I searched the internet and found the Knik Glacier air boat which takes you up the Knik River on an air boat and up to the base of the can see the other glacier far away...but there is no way to get to it except by plane. The Air Boat was like flying on the River…the same noise level..the feel of air… it was as close as I got to flying!

I took the tour and had another going away, “good by” service for my beloved Mell...seems I have to keep saying “Good by” all over again...over and over and over...I just don’t want to ..but I do it by faith and I know the Lord will honor my faith and heal me. Knowing I will see Mell again...I have that faith... Nothing I do is easy...But Blessed be the Name of the Lord. He has not forsaken me!

Job 1

20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised.”