Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Dig Deep

My first day in SanFransisco proved "Relieving" from the Georgia "Heat" wave…I actually got cold!
I got to see my son, Graham, and where his office/workshop is and the photobooth he is building
in an old phone booth.
Fog covered the city and began to break around 1pm or so…nice summer breeze~something we know nothing about.
But the fog reminded of me of why I started this blog…."fog" of my loss of Mell.
I felt I couldn't see or hear clearly…the shock of Loss…We all have some kind of loss in our lives….but will we ever let the fog break…will we ever see clearly again and feel the summers cool breeze?
Jeremiah 29:13
You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

Begin your search of God today…He is to be found! Dig Deep with all your heart!

Saturday, June 25, 2011


As I prepare for my trip to SanFransisco and Alaska I am reminded of the last trip to both places…both with my sweet Mell.

In November of 2009 we both visited my son, Graham and his girl Emily. Graham showed us around the town. Mell had told me he had been to SF before…I quickly realized he hadn't seen much….just flew in on business and looked around some and flew out…

Graham did a great job as tour guide and I have great memories of that trip.

Mell really enjoyed the trip and was glad he had come with me.

Tues night at griefshare…a subject came up.."cheated" I just feel cheated!

How many times had I said the same thing! I had met the man of my dreams…we were so
in love and he treated me wonderful! He loved me! I wanted…really wanted to spend the rest of my life with him…I didn't care if he got sick and I had to take care of him…I felt like I finally could keep my marriage commitment …..but I didn't think it would be the part "till death do us part"

Yes I felt cheated! We had just begun our life together…we had hopes and dreams just like all of you…do or did…

But when one of my group members said "I feel Cheated" and then another said "I do too"

I had to say "I remember feeling the same way" "I felt Cheated" It was a strong feeling too!

But it struck my heart that I don't feel that way anymore. Healing is begining.

I feel so blessed to have been Mell's wife for even a short time. He was a good husband and
I will never be the same person I was before I was his wife. Our love for each other and God
changed both of our lives.

I am not the same! I am blessed because of him and I believe he was blessed because of me.

God put us together for a reason…I do not understand the whole picture….but one day I will.

God does change lives…He is our comforter and our healer...

John 3:7-8
7 Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born [c]again.’ 8 (K)The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

1 Peter 1:3
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

1 Peter 1:23
for you have been born again not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, that is, through the living and enduring word of God.

His spirit within you and the word of God(Bible)is living and enduring and is what brings about change in your life.

So if you are tired of hurting…tired of running away…run into his arms of love…
He is waiting for you!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Rest in Him

This past weekend I went to the "Deeper Still" conference with Kay Arthur, Beth Moore, and
Pricilla Shirer.
To start off it was in "Freedom Hall" A good name for what was to take place…

Kay started off with "God's Love" that inspired the last post.

Pricilla taught about the" sabboth"…rest….cease…Pause…breathing room…take time…

Deuteronomy 5:14-15

14 but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your ox, your donkey or any of your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns, so that your male and female servants may rest, as you do. 15 Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the LORD your God brought you out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Therefore the LORD your God has commanded you to observe the Sabbath day.

Remember where you came from? I remember well what the Lord has done for me…Pause and think about that...

Psalm 40:2
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

He wants us to gather each day …and not hoard…if we hoard it will STINK!

19 Then Moses said to them, “No one is to keep any of it until morning.”

20 However, some of them paid no attention to Moses; they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell. So Moses was angry with them.

2 Corinthians 5:17

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come The old has gone, the new is here!

Do we still have our "Slave Mentality"? Do we want to go Deeper Still with our God ? or do we want to stay in Eygpt? The old is GONE…The NEW is here!

Sometimes I feel myself just running on the inside…still waiting for Mell to come back…I catch myself feeling like I am going crazy…then I stop…I get Still …I wait on God…He calms my storm on the inside and gives me the hope I need "I will see Mell again one day" His peace calms my storm…His loves caresses me…engulfs me…He knows how to slow me down…He knows me inside and out…Just like Mell did…only much deeper, and in eternity I will know Him much deeper!

Ps 46:10 Be still and know that I am God.

Exodus 3:15-16

“This is my name forever,
the name you shall call me
from generation to generation.

16 “Go, assemble the elders of Israel and say to them, ‘The LORD, the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob—appeared to me and said: I have watched over you and have seen what has been done to you in Egypt.

He knows what we are going through or what has been done to us in the past…He is watching over us and will never leave us or forsake us….Rest in Him…take the time each day and refuse to overdue…enough is enough! Break free from the rush…rush of the world…come out and be separate !

God Believes in Me and You!(click here to see Movie)

Some of you may say that you don't believe in Him…Jesus the son of God…You may

have hatred in your heart towards another or maybe even God…I have every right to hate…but yet.. Everyday I live without my sweet husband, I choose to put my hope in God and hope does not disapoint. I am here…He is with God…I have his family without him…I visit his Mom without him, I play with his grandbaby without him...everyday I am reminded he has gone home and I am left without him…but yet I am not alone…God is with me…and His love is amazing...my only hope is to let you know that God loves you too…

It doesn’t matter if you believe in Him, He believes in you!

Quote from the Priest in “The Count of Monte Cristo”

Ask God to convince you of his love for you…Ask and you will recieve! God is Faithful !

Deuteronomy 31:8

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

1 John 3:1,6

1 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

6 No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.

Luke 6:37 Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven

Romans 5:5

5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

If you haven’t seen this movie..its about Love,betrayal and forgiveness. Check it out!