First Helicopter Flight

Mell's friend Ron took me up for my first Helicopter flight…it was Avi's first Flight! She loved it! A beautiful day around Stone Mountain and the fall colors were still bright!

Mell and I usually would do a fall color flight... so it was amazing and I felt like He was right there with me! I could never thank Ron enough…I really miss being up there with Mell …

I think flying makes me feel close to him somehow.

The Memory Tree

This year I have decided to have an empty

Christmas tree…as my heart is empty without Mell.

I would like for all family and friends who want to

participate to bring a Christmas ornament in

memory of my sweet Mell. Something that may remind

you of him and what he meant to you.

The tree will remain empty and we will decorate

it Christmas eve at the family gathering.

I can't imagine Christmas without him…but its

gonna happen…and I just want all of us to remember him and what he meant to all of us.

You can write stories about him that I may not know about, if you like…and send them to me...I love this…it means soooo much to me…whatever you feel in your heart to do that will make it easier this Christmas without him for me and all of the family.

My love to all who loved Mell!

My address is 2379 Pine Stream Ct.

Lawerenceville, GA 30043

Change…Change and more Change

11/5/10

For four weeks now I have been training for the new job in Barrow county as a school bus driver.

I have come from fearful to hopeful...

To the fearful change means: things could get worse...

To the hopeful change means: things could get better.

To the confident change means: its a

challenge to make things better

I am now hopeful that this change in my life will make things

better for me.

I honestly do not see it as of yet...but am hopeful this is true. Eventually I would like to see myself the confident again!

It has been a real challenge for me...and extremely hard...but again I am doing it...”the hard thing” and I will not allow fear to keep me from doing what I need to do.

My destination was to be married to Mell the rest of my life...

I have to release Mell to be with the Lord...

I am having to change my destination. I may not be going to Alaska but I am going somewhere. The best is yet to come….so they say...

But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14:26-27).

Solo Shrimping

The first two days at the Island were very challenging without my sweet Mell…the boat wouldn't start…The light in the tool room was out…and it wasn't the bulbs…I asked a couple of neighbors about the boat and both said something about the fuel filter…I checked it and it was rusty and leaking…but wouldn't come off. So the neighbor came down and he couldn't get it off either! We had to change all the fittings that held it on….but got it running! He also checked my light and said he thought it was the ballast…well it was and I switched it out and put up the old light we had in there originally! Now it works too!

The battle rages in my head…"He should be here but he is gone!"…It is a constant battle to do anything! It took me hours of battling in my head to switch out the light in the tool room. I had done this numerous times before I met Mell…but he would have done it…."Why is he gone?"

It was high tide and I needed to get the boat off the lift ….but the battles raged…Finally I just said…"Do it" and I did it…

Then on Wed. I wanted to go shrimping…but again the battled raged in my head…I thought the tide was right…but wasn't quite sure. One of our neighbors was coming up in a small boat and had lots of stuff…so I decided to see if he needed help…I asked him about the tide and shrimping and he said he was going…I then asked him if I could go with him…we went in our boat as his was a small fishing boat….he made me drive the boat and showed me again what Mell has been teaching me over the years about going out in the Sapalo sound. We caught a few shrimp but I felt God was with me encouraging me to do this on my own.

Thursday the neighbors told me what time to go out and that they would already be out there.

So not to worry. Again the battle raged …I got in the boat with Avi and went up the river…I cried out in anger to God that Mell was not with me! I wanted to turn back half way to the Sound…I through the cast net a couple of times in the River but didn't get anything but trash!

So I started back towards the Sound…I battled all the way there…but I did it…I got there! I found the neighbors and some of the local guys that Mell knew…they all laughed at me and Avi in her life jacket and I laughed too…and said "But at least I am here" I through the net from 12pm to 3:30 or so and Avi did great! She just loved playing with the shrimp but wouldn't eat them….Then right before I quit a butterfly flew into the boat and landed in it…I picked it up and it just sat on my hand. Still the battled rages as I had to turn and go back at low tide and this was one of the lowest tides of the year! The neighbors were still out but said they would make sure I got back.

I couldn't get through the way we usually go...the water was too low for me…so I turned back towards the deep water in the intercoastal waterway…a man was shrimping right there and I knew you could go around to the other marker…so I asked him about the sand bars that way…he said he was leaving and I could follow him but the trick was to move fast so the boat planes out…I just followed him at the speed he was going and I made it back to the river!

God has provisions all over the place if we will look and see!

1 Pet 5:6-9 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. be self controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

I am constantly casting my anxiety on Him…and the devil is constantly roaring at me…I feel I stood firm in the faith that my God is with me and I can do all things through God who gives me strength! I came home with a lot of Shrimp…but again as I had to clean them alone…The Battle raged! I am determined to rejoice in the Lord and give thanks in all circumstances! Nothing can separate me from the Love of God…and My God will give me rest from this grief as I go to Him...

Ps 118:24 This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it.

1 thes 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 11:28-30

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

"I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39).

God's Detour

8/25/10

We hiked to Temple Peak today about 8 miles...we have gone about 55 miles so far.

On the way back from Temple peak we saw smoke over the mountain side. We found out later two ladies started a camp fire and it got away from them. At first it looked like clouds and we were trying to decide if it was clouds but there was not a cloud anywhere. Then all of a sudden a big hugh burst of smoke filled the sky! Black smoke and lots of it. By the time we got back to the camp site there was no sign of it. The people that told us about it lost their tent in the fire as they had to run to escape the fire.

The odd thing was Ernie had told us on the way to Temple Peak we would come back the the way where the fire had been, but he changed his mind because of time and we went back the way we had come. I think God had something to do with that!

"Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long" (Psalm 25:4-5). Amen.

Laughing Out Loud and Listening to the Quiet !

8/24/10

We left the North part of the Wind River Range and spent the night in Pinedale. Kathy and I had girls night out. We got our gear and food together and left early the next morning for the southern part of the Range.

Bobby, Kathy and I had a real challenge on this trip hanging our food in the trees…Ernie had to take over and do it for us today. It was really funny…It was good to laugh…

I think of Mell with each step I take on this trip. Sometimes I want to say out loud "Check it out" to him…and I do silently.

I know I make my "Mary noises" as Matt calls them and drive Ernie crazy…but Bobbie and Kathy just laugh at me.

Today Kathy said "Listen to the quiet" and Bobbie got silent and started to listen…I said "what are we doing?" and he said "Listening to the quiet" I tried really hard to listen and I was gritting my teeth to be quiet and listen….the 3 of us just burst into laughter…

When I am with other people like on this trip…I notice life is much easier…I hurt still but just being with people takes away some of the loneliness. Kathy and Bobby have shared with me in my pain and I have come to be grateful to them for what they gave me on this trip. Mostly I laughed again. Thanks to Ernie for getting me to go.

Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles" (Philippians 4:14).

Melly

I have not been keeping up with my journal on my Wyoming trip because of this little girl…our new Grand Baby, Melly

Alexis Mell Hall born on 9/9/10 at 4:10 pm

Weighing in at 6lbs 5 oz and 20 inches long!

She was 3 weeks early and had a little trouble breathing at first…but I believe she now has the breath of God! Breathing fine on her own and hoping to go home Monday or Tuesday.

I got to hold her yesterday for the first time.

Just holding this beautiful miracle of God touched my heart…I believe I am ready to love this little girl!

I had Avi to thank for that! It took me a whole week to open my heart to love again and not fear that I would lose the ones I love…this is a real fear I think that we who lose one very close to us has…

When Matt told us they immediately took her away from them for oxygen because she wasn't breathing right... we all gathered around him to pray…I can't tell you how I felt…all I can say is I wanted to throw up! I prayed that God would breath His life into our little Melly and I believe He did!

After I left the hospital…I was emotionally exhausted…thats when it hit me..that mean old painful thing called "GRIEF" I realized this was something I should be sharing with my beloved husband and he could not be with us in this joyful moment of the new life of Matt and Beth's little Melly! Our grand baby !

Thanks to my new friend "Debbie" who I was able to cry to and share my pain…I made it through the night. She was just there for me…and thats what I needed.

Then one surprise after another…Jay and Sandy called and wanted to come see the baby.

They were in Atlanta. Jay is a pilot for Delta and they were passing through. They are our friends from Alaska that were here when Mell went to his eternal home. So needless to say they are special people to me!

We surprised Matt and Beth with the visit from them and I got to hold Melly again!

This time I returned home with a thankfulness in my heart because God is always helping me through this time of the loss of my sweet Mell. The visit from Jay and Sandy did my heart good because I know that God brought them in my time of need. That is the kind of God I serve!

Thank God for this precious gift of Life and I believe also Mell can see his grand daughter from heaven. I believe he is a proud Papa! and for me I am a proud Mama Mia! 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.